10 epic councils of the divorced man that who else in marriage

 To the people who endured a divorce, psychologists are always ready to help for adjustment of further life. As for analysis of the made mistakes and the analysis of the problems which led to the marriage crash, not all have enough sincere forces for similar experiments. Especially, when there passed not enough time. That more interesting the case of the writer Gerald Rogers which after the divorce returned to studying the family experience looks, drew important conclusions from it and wrote about it the book which became the world best-seller.

Gerald's history

Today Gerald Rogers is known as the writer and the leader of trainings. Once in 2015 on the personal page in social network he decided to share councils for marriage preservation. The man got divorced from wife after 16 years of joint life recently and thought of the mistakes which predetermined so sad outcome much. Simple and honest conclusions of Gerald became a sensation on the Internet, were transferred to a set of languages. They formed the basis of the book "Council in Marriage Which I Would Like to Receive" published by it.

In the USA Rogers is a quite famous personality, he became the participant of programs on channels ABC, NBC, the guest of airs, the hero of newspaper articles. By the way, even the Pope Francis marked out Gerald in the publication devoted to a subject of stains.

Gerald's view of problems in marriage and the relations

Arguing on the relations, Rogers takes the bad family experience as a basis. He always emphasizes that he is not a professional in this area, but through own pain is ready to study and share experience.

For example, according to Gerald, in marriage it is important to place gender roles correctly. As the feminism has destructive impact on femininity, the fair sex begins to dominate more and more actively in the relations. Men, of course, relax, and have to be heroes and defenders, on the contrary. When the woman feels in safety and trusts the partner, she with pleasure will fade into the background, allowing it to predominate. And the man, in turn, will make every effort, having surrounded darling with care and attention.

Rogers considers one of typical problems of marriage female criticism. Wishing all possible ways to eradicate shortcomings of the partner, the woman complains, criticizes, cries, demands. It deprives the man of his importance. He or is protected and attacks in reply, or recedes and becomes reserved. Without having received a leading role in family, such man will begin to seek missing emotions elsewhere.

Misunderstanding in the relations arises if spouses speak with each other different languages of love. There are only 5 languages: touches, words, time, gifts, help. If for manifestation of feelings you use different methods, there are problems. Therefore it is necessary to be able not love, but also to show it to the partner that he understood you. The good way is to write each other 10 things which help to feel like darling. So everyone in couple will know how to make the loved one happy.

Disintegration of the love unions happens also for the reason that the person begins to lose himself in the relations. It is impossible to forget about the desires, otherwise the collecting discontent and irritation will pour out on the partner. Simplest to make the list of things with which you associate care of yourself. Perhaps, it will be shopping, a hot bathtub, massage. The most important – leave in your life the place for similar small pleasures.

10 epic councils

1. If the beloved is upset, it is not necessary to start correcting it. In usual life she has the right for different emotions, including negative. Just let to it know that you support her nearby and always, but you will not run away to the heaviest moment. In case you are upset or angry, do not accuse the loved one. Stay alone better and put emotions in order.

2. Continue to grow together. Think out the general dreams, the purposes, plans and start their realization. So you will not allow your relations to turn into the standing swamp.

3. Be able to forgive and to irrevocably forget old offenses. Do not cling to the past, you look forward. Take only useful experience which you gained, having made mistakes. And release offenses, otherwise this anchor will pull your relations to a bottom.

4. You treat the beloved as to the main treasure in life. Preserve and support every day as if you just married. Remember that to marry it – your choice and your decision. And when over the years both of you will change, anew fall in love with that new person who is a spouse.

5. If you learn to see in the half only the best, then be not obsessed on its shortcomings. Then your love for this woman will continue to get stronger and grow. Remember your happy joint moments more often. So you will always feel that you made a right choice.

6. Be not exchanged for feelings to other women, do not let in the heart anybody, except the wife. Only she has to live and dominate in it.

7. Do not force it to conform to your requirements violently. If she feels your unconditional love, then itself will want to change. At the same time do not wait and do not demand that the wife made you happy. First of all, our happiness depends on ourselves. Better do those things which help it to feel your love and care for darling. Let you will have such acts in a priority.

8. Be not afraid to make mistakes and allow your woman to learn about it. Let her see that you are imperfect too. Sometimes you share with her fears and doubts, showing the vulnerability. Be able to recognize mistakes and to apologize. Be honest with the wife, as with anybody another. Without absolute trust there is no true love.

9. Do not put money above the relations, you learn to operate them together as one team. Do not conceal the income from the spouse, and trust in her.

10. Marriage is a work and mutual investments into the relations. In it it cannot be always quiet and smooth therefore it is necessary to learn lessons from each passable stage. If people are able to love really each other, they will overcome all difficulties. For the same reason in any situation it is worth choosing love because in forgiveness, it has patience and endurance no competitors.

10 epic councils of the divorced man that who else in marriage